I attended graves with my grandmother as a young child and this is my memory. allcomments, critiques please? - memory over knee spanking
Millie's Hair Maiden
A happy time is thankful
Tears and successive seasons
Now only a desire to bequeath a sigh,
and in the woods, on trails
an abundance of hair girls
Fifty years ago, planted
tender and moist
rich foam sponge
It is on its knees
old
Scraping mold and lichens
one years of abandonment
Letters
Nipple sandblasted granite gray and pink
exposed to the names of the green and black holes
Bursts of sparkling crystals
iridescent red
Ruby fires under the sun
and the names are
Voice, soft-touch feathers, songs
Surround, wrap
feel the hands of the families today than likely
how many years ago
She thinks it's any consolation
to have a light after the death
smiles, knowing they are all at home
Together Hill Cemetery
under the trees of the birch and spruce
on the River.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Memory Over Knee Spanking I Attended Graves With My Grandmother As A Young Child And This Is My Memory. Allcomments, Critiques Please?
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2 comments:
You can delete it.
You can use line breaks.
You can work on the subway.
It is necessary to correct grammar and spelling.
This has the potential to be powerful.
Are you willing to work on it again?
The practice of economy of words.
Amazing how much one can say more with less.
The start was just okay, but in the end I liked it.
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